1 year, 10 months, 7 days old

Following on from last week’s “bugger off”, this week Daddy has decided to continue teaching Arwen things she shouldn’t say in polite company. On Wednesday morning when I asked her whether she wanted weetabix or toast for breakfast, her response was “massive poo poo”. On Thursday, the first thing she said to me when I went to get her out of bed in the morning was “KNICKERS!” And she’s not getting any of this from me.

One thing she has got from us both is her love of silly voices, and hearing her copy the daft voices you’re doing and come up with her own is priceless. She’s also really enjoying playing with language, as evidenced this afternoon, with probably my favourite thing she’s said all week. I was just finishing changing her nappy and told her we needed to pull her pantaloons up, as she finds that word hilarious. Arwen replied with “pantaloons up!” then “pantaloo!” then, realising that the word ended with loo, shouted “pantaTOILET!” And when we were looking at some flash cards on Thursday, she saw a picture of a piano and obviously didn’t know what it was called as we’re not wartime Cockneys who gather round the old Joanna for a spirit raising singsong. But she does have a keyboard at home, and so she called the piano the only thing she ever says over its microphone: “YO! YO!” With word association skills like that, she’d have been a smash on Mallett’s Mallet.

Her word association is also spilling out into longer sentences now. On the loo a couple of nights ago (where all the best conversations take place) Daddy was putting her to bed while I went out, and as she heard the car start up, she said “Mummy car brum driving”. The previous night she’d heard Daddy working in the garage, and her response was “Daddy drill bzzzzzz” with a little push of the finger that apparently means drilling. While I’m proud of how she’s linking her ideas and therefore her words together, Daddy is obviously much more proud of the fact that she can both recognise various power tools just by their sound and label them correctly.

As for interesting (to me) language skills, Arwen’s been using plurals for a good while now, but this week she’s started properly experimenting with them. The past two days we’ve been for walks in the countryside and have had both “sheeps” and “cowses”. While it’s fascinating to hear her try out where and how she should pluralise, it’s just a shame that the latter makes her sound like a simpleton.

And like most toddlers, Arwen also really enjoys both being nude and shouting about it. She loves to shout “NUDEY!” when she gets out of the shower, and show off her moves when she’s in the buff, expecting us to laugh appreciatively. Apparently it’s not a two way street though – when she saw me get out of the shower today, her first response was “nudey Mummy”. Her second was “clothes on”. So now I’ve been body shamed by a not quite two year old. Ace.

Oh, and Daddy’s also taught her the words “penis” and “wanker” this week. Magical.

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