No Pig

2 years, 2 months, 17 days old

It’s actually been a fortnight since I wrote a blog, as last Sunday was part of a Bank Holiday weekend, so didn’t feel like a Sunday at all and made me forget all about writing it. I’d have written it on the Monday, but Game of Thrones … And then I forgot. Anyhoo, Arwen’s been quite vocal about food recently. Last week we went to Quarry Bank Mill for a bit of a family day out, and Nana offered to buy ice cream. I pointed to each flavour, told Arwen what they were and asked what she wanted. She wanted “Raspberry nipple”. After that, we bought some plums fresh from the tree, which Arwen enjoyed. Later on when one of her cousins asked her where we should go next, Arwen got right in her face and shouted “Nice plums!” It wasn’t the answer any of us were expecting. And that night, still obsessed with food, I asked Arwen if she could have anything at all for her tea, what would she have. (Obviously I asked her this after we’d already eaten tea, I’m not an idiot.) She replied “Strawberries. Bread.” I checked whether she’d want anything else with the strawberries and bread, and she thought for a minute and decided on “Spicy sauce.” So that’s tomorrow night sorted, then.

Language paragraph! Arwen’s quite good at pronouns, and can correctly use “I” and “me”, though for some reason she prefers to refer to herself in the third person. Recently though, “I” and “me” have both become replaced by “my”, so she comes out with odd phrases like “My looking at it.” I’ve no idea where that came from. She also sometimes struggles separating words, and thinks common phrases are just one word. So when I put her to bed at night and she asks me to stay with her, I usually tell her I’ll stay for two minutes. That usually leads, when I’m about to leave, to “Nother one two minutes”, which always makes me smile.

Whenever Arwen and I draw, she always wants me to draw a pig, which is handy, as it’s the only animal I can make vaguely look like what it’s supposed to. In fact, maybe that’s why she asks me to do it – she’s seen all my other attempts at animals, and this is the only one that doesn’t give her nightmares. Anyway, she asked me to make a pig out of Play-Doh the other day. Not too hard, I thought, and I gave it a good go. Arwen took one look at the finished product, squished it and said “No pig. Don’t work. Arwen broke it.” I’ll stick to drawing from now on. She also wanted me to use the cutters to make a man, then immediately decapitated him, declaring “Arwen killed man’s head off.” Which is slightly disturbing.

She’s also still happily hearing things we’ve said and repeating them. When she’d been a bit of a pain a few days ago, she obviously heard me telling Daddy about it when he came home, as one of the first things she said to him was “Arwen bit arsey.” She’s also very much aware of what bogeys are, and when she’s got sleep in her eye, she’ll immediately tell you that she has an “eye bogey”. Makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is her behaviour the other day, when she said to me “Arwen got bogey in my eye.” I did that parent thing of replying “Have you?”, to which her response was “No! My run away!” And she legged it, laughing her head off.

As a two year old, Arwen is quite rightly obsessed with bums and their produce. Sometimes she proudly owns hers, sometimes she doesn’t. When there was a loud parp sound last week when Daddy was putting her to bed and there was only the pair of them there, Daddy asked what that noise was. Arwen’s response? “Somebody farted.” True enough, but not quite taking ownership. Whereas the day after, I realised from the smell that she’d done a dirty nappy and told Arwen I’d have to change it. I then had to walk behind her and her stink all the way up the stairs, while she pointed to the bulge in the back of her pants, announcing “There my poo poo. Right there. Smell like poo poo. Pwoar, smelly!” And she was right.

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