Down the slide

2 years, 1 month, 27 days old

Arwen is definitely going through what some would call the terrible twos, but I prefer to call shouty screamy times. She gets irritated by little things and angry when we can’t use telepathy to magically understand what she wants. Today she angrily told me that “Arwen hat too tight!!!” She wasn’t wearing a hat. Happily though, these grumps never last long and always end with a hug. On Monday morning she had a tantrum about the fact that she wanted to wear her Minnie Mouse t-shirt, so I got her Minnie Mouse t-shirt out for her. This was apparently the wrong thing to do as she absolutely didn’t want to wear the Minnie Mouse t-shirt and was furious at my assuming that she did. She shouted and went red in the face for a while and I simply sat and watched her until she ran out of steam and said “Arwen silly. Arwen just being silly.” At least she recognises it, eh?

Today we went to a park, which Arwen absolutely loved. So much so that she obviously got angry at the idea of leaving, and didn’t look in the slightest bit fazed when we started to walk off and told her we were going home. In fact she watched us and said “Arwen stay forever park.” So that was a definite backfire. As a two year old, she believes that parks are the best places in the world and excitedly talked me though what she was going to do there before we left home this morning. My favourite was “Arwen go to big down the slide.” I love that sentence for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s probably among the longest she’s ever come out with, and it shows she’s getting the hang of the future tense (though some people argue there’s no such thing as a future tense in English, but let’s not get all caught up in that debate right now) and it reinforces my belief that she genuinely thinks a slide is called a “down the slide”, which is hilarious.

It’s great knowing that your child is saying the wrong thing but not correcting them because it’s funny. This morning we brought out the plastic horse and played a few games of “buggeroo”, and she’s recently broken her pair of binoculars, which she always called “noculars”, so now when she looks through one of the lenses, she refers to it as “a nocular”. Though that one makes actual proper sense. Unlike her rousing call of “schloss!” when she chinks her cup against yours. We know it’s German for castle rather than cheers, but it’ll be brilliant when we get finally get round to taking her to Germany on holiday.

She’s working on her negotiating at the minute too, and is always calm and polite when doing so. I asked her where she’d put my bedside clock this morning, an item that constantly turns up in surprising places and has the alarm going off in the middle of the night, and she replied “Arwen can’t member. Arwen just can’t.” I love that she seems to have really tried though. She’s also got very sneaky about not going to sleep when she’s supposed to. She knows that no parent can resist being asked for a hug, and very much uses this to her advantage. As you’re about to leave her bedroom at bedtime, she’ll shout out for a “Hug!” Once you’ve done that, she’ll ask for a “Big hug”, followed by a “Little hug”. And then she moves onto “Cuddle”, Big cuddle” and “Little cuddle”. If she ever gets her hands on a thesaurus, we’re screwed. Sadly though, her negotiating skills only go so far. After trying unsuccessfully to get a deer to hug her at Dunham Massey on Wednesday, she finally dropped all pretences of diplomacy and simply shouted “Curses! Give me hug!” Weirdly enough, it didn’t work.

And finally, we were walking down the stairs on Wednesday morning when she nearly made me fall down them laughing. There was a little parp sound, so I asked “Did you just trump?” to which she replied “No, Arwen fart.” She then paused for a split second, sniffed the air, and declared “Smells like weetabix.” And it did.

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